Tag: Grace

Relationship Goals

Do offer to help him/her before the he/she asks.

Don’t be all forceful about it and give help if it’s not wanted/needed.

Do let him/her know they’re doing a good job and are appreciated.

Don’t wait until he/she has to call attention to be appreciated.

Do be supportive whether or not things are going right.

Don’t say “I Told You So” when things go wrong.

Do apologize when you screw up, because you will screw up. We all do.

Don’t act like Mr./Mrs. Perfect. You’re not. Nobody is.

Don’t criticize his/her choices – you’re one of them.

Do learn to accept advice or help from him/her when you need it. We all need help sometimes.

Don’t treat him/her like they don’t know anything. After all… why would you marry an idiot? Did he? Did she?

Do be willing to prepare and serve him/her drinks, meals, etc.

Don’t think it’s beneath you. It’s not.

Do share the chores. You both make a mess sometimes.

Don’t think he/she is the only one who should clean up. Again… you both make the mess, you should both clean up. Your not children. Don’t act like you are.

When having a disagreement, do not negate his/her feelings or block them out when they’re talking to you. Their feelings are just as valid as yours.

Do respect him/her.

Don’t use “always” and “never”. Nobody “always” does something and “never” isn’t possible until you’re dead.

**Pro Tip** If your significant other is screaming and crazy, go look in the mirror. You’re probably the reason.

Got kids? Share the responsibility. It took two people to make them, it’s going to take two people to raise them.

Do always work on having the best relationship that you can possibly have.

Do not compare other relationships to yours or other partners to yours. Chances are someone else is looking at your relationship and your partner and wishing they had what you have.

Do remember – You could always have it better, you could always have it worse.

In a marriage, there is no such thing as “man’s work” or “woman’s work”. That is an archaic way of thinking, that needs to be done away with by both sexes. It’s about mutual respect. Marriage is, above all, a partnership that should be built on love and that mutual respect. You should both be doing everything within your power to take care of one another.

Ladies: Serving your man dinner, packing him a lunch or making him a cup of coffee, isn’t a sign of oppression. It’s a sign of care, respect and love.

Men: Serving your woman dinner, packing her lunch, making her coffee are ways you can show the lady you love and honor her. Cook her a nice meal, dish it up, and serve it to her. If you think it will detract from your manhood, think again buddy. You’re likely to be rewarded for that later.

Ladies are you listening? Feminism doesn’t mean you should never do anything for your man, it means knowing your worth and setting a high standard to ensure that you have a man who values you. It does not mean that you should never do anything nice for him, it means that you’re secure enough within your womanhood, to be okay with taking care of him and letting him take care of you back.

Men there is no place for chauvinism in a relationship in the 21st century. It never should have been a thing to begin with. Get over it.

After all, ladies and gentlemen… more than men and women, we are all human, and we all want to be cared for, loved and respected.

In matters of money, don’t compare paychecks and brag about who makes more, or belittle the one who makes less. That will make one of you feel like crap, and will undermine the relationship/partnership.

Bills should be shared or another arrangement can be made for other contributions as a whole. In other words, if one of you is a stay-at-home parent, and yes, men can be stay at home parents… that counts as a job. I know. I raised 5 boys by being a stay-at-home mom for a real long time and I worked my ass off everyday. Paychecks? Nope. Rewards? Yep. Equality.

Make smart decisions about money spending. You should never have to ask for permission to buy something, but you should always be willing to talk about a reasonable price range before the purchase is made, to be sure it’s affordable in relation to food and bills.

Never, never, never… say to him/her, “how much money did you spend?” in anything other than an accounting context for keeping track of your finances. You are not his/her father/mother. He/she is not your child.

Always remember, love is more important than anything else. Love the one you’re with, treat him/her the way you want to be treated, don’t play games. Life and love are not games. You can’t win everything, but you can lose everything. Remember that.

One last thing… stop with this BS statement: “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

All that is, is a feeble attempt to justify rotten behavior that will eventually become the deciding factor in the end of what could have been a great relationship.

Nobody should have to “handle you” at your worst, or “deserve you” at your best. Grow up!

Many blessings… C.A. Bennett – Writer/Wife of 29 years and still learning.

​Salvation In Three Simple Parts

Part 1 – God willingly gives us His love, forgiveness and salvation.

Part 2
– We willingly give our hearts and lives which He created, back to Him.

Part 3
– Grace, abundant mercy, and blessings pour out in our lives.

In church this morning there were two songs which had the whole of salvation at their hearts.

-Glory To Good Forever-

“Take my life and let it be
All for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be yours”

-Grace That Won’t Let Go-

“Grace, Amazing grace
Unfailing grace
That saves my soul
Grace, Unending grace
Unrelenting grace
That won’t let go
Grace, greater than our past
Deeper than our pain
Stronger than our sin
Your love, forever it will last
Your blood will always save
Grace will always win”

Praise The Lord!

C.A. Bennett 



Post Script: Sometimes we need to step back, get out of our own way, and realize that we have a problem. That doesn’t mean we have a drug problem, it could be anything. The point is, it’s something that’s keeping us from our true destiny, and God’s blessings, and we don’t always realize how much better things could be, if we just trust Him to help us. Put your trust and faith in the Lord today. He loves you so much, he gave his only son so that you should have eternal life and have it abundantly. No matter how bad things have been for you, or what’s got you down, God will always recognize you, and never question your identity.

Psalm 139: 13 – 16

King David was praying to the Lord who chose him above all others to lead the kingdom and people of Israel, and said, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

Trust me… even if I don’t recognize you… God does. All you have to do is recognize Him 🙂


Testing Peace and Grace

Hello there, friends! I really must apologize for my extended absence, but I have a confession… I’ve been cheating with Facebook Pages. I know, it’s not as nice or as good as Word Press, but it seems to get more looks than this site, so I thought I’d take it for a test run. You forgive me, right?

Lately, I feel like a great many things have been a test of some sort or other. Take today for example; My husband and I had a misunderstanding, and I figured a little time apart might do us both some good, so I went to the library to do some research and editing. While there, I met an interesting 90 year old man, who struck up a conversation with me about a great many things. He was a cynical, and grumpy democrat with some opinions which were vastly different from my own, but it was an interesting conversation, and he was polite. We got along well, despite our differences.

Fast forward about thirty minutes. The library is bustling with recently released school children, brimming with excess energy, and no volume control. Their feet carry them up and down the isles at a rapid rate, as they giggle and laugh. The two librarians at the front desk, not far from where my new friend and I are chatting, are engaged in lively conversation about the grandchildren of the elder. A baby is fussing, as his mother searches for the perfect fantasy novel – her one sinful escape, read a few stolen minutes each night while the baby sleeps. She’s probably hoping she can finish it before the three-week due date comes around, but if not, she can renew it for another three. People are interacting. This is by no means, a quiet library.

Amidst all this, my phone – which has been set to silent – lights up and I answer as quietly as I can, and still be heard. The caller is my pastor, who’s trying to set up community service hours for my soon to graduate son’s high school credits. As I have what I’m attempting to make a quiet conversation as I quickly begin to gather my many spread out papers, notes, binders, and word processor, so I can leave the library to have the phone conversation, a man a few feet away, and located behind my new elderly friend, says quite loudly, “Get off the phone! It’s a library, for God sake!” I am taken aback, but apologize to him nonetheless.

His extremely rude outburst throws me off track, and I am having a difficult time concentrating on what my pastor is saying, but I listen intently as I stuff my now very disorganized things into my bag, and attempt to juggle the bag, my phone, and my cane. I answer a question from the pastor as quietly as I can – the library as loud as ever – and the rude man now shouts at me to “Get the h*** off the d*** phone or get out!”, which I’m very obviously trying to do. I have a temporary loss of composure, saying to the man, “You do hear all the other noise, do you not?” as I wave my arm in exasperation. “It’s a library!” he exclaims loudly, “GET OFF, OR GET OUT!”

At this point, my juggling fails, I accidentally hang up on my pastor, and apologize once more – this time to everyone else BUT the rude man. My pastor calls back, as I’m limping out the door, and I do my best to regain my whits as he gives me information which I forget almost immediately, because I’m so flustered. The poor man has the patience of a saint, because he laughs and explains again, promising to pray for me to have grace and peace. The rude man now exits the library as I am standing next to my car, on the phone. He enters his pickup, slams the door, fires up the engine, and flips me the bird as he speeds away. The phone call ends shortly after the pastor prays for me as he promised he would, thank you Lord, and thank you Pastor Dustin. I need all the grace and peace I can get at this point.

Now, I understand that what I should have done, was to either let the pastor go to voicemail and call him back once out of the library, or quickly answer and let him know I would call him back shortly. But in all fairness, the library was already so loud, I honestly didn’t think the call would bother anyone. Apparently, I was mistaken.

Here’s the thing – Under normal circumstances, I would certainly have followed the aforementioned protocol – apologize, while gathering, and leaving – once… maybe twice. But by the third time, I would probably have allowed my mouth to run away with my sensibilities, and said some choice, if not very nice, things to this incredibly rude man. Why didn’t I? Two reasons; 1. I was in the library with several other people, and I am not a rude person. 2. I was on the phone with my pastor, and honestly, would you swear or be rude if you were on the phone with your pastor? I doubt it.

Interesting lesson for me; I should walk through life, behaving and speaking as if I am always on the phone with my pastor, or even better… with Jesus. Because really, as Christians, aren’t we supposed to always be on our best behavior? Not just in certain situations, or when someone can see us or hear us, but always? Because when you think abut it… Jesus can always see and hear you, and me, and that rude guy, and even my pastor. So we should always strive to be the best we can be in every situation. So I count today as a test of my character and as a lesson in how to behave in all situations. I’m human, and I will probably fail to live up to the standard sometimes, but I will try anyway.

As for the rude man – I will simply hope he just happened to be having a bad day, and was having a human moment or two, and pray for peace and grace for him the way my pastor prayed for me. Because that’s what we all need from the Lord.

Peace and Grace

Many Blessings, and may you find peace and grace in your human moments, too.

C.A. Bennett – Writer